Day 111: My Experiment
Sunday November 4th, 2018 Photo by GDJ on Pixabay
I was taught and rebelled against ‘men as the cause of women’s problems’. To my dismay, despite rebelliousness, I was conditioned by familial, literary, and societal influences. In my 20’s this spell began to break as my Father was able to support my masculine. Young and ill advised by female conditioning continued to have an impact. Codified, for a period of 15 years, was a rigid unfailing idea of independence. I continued to hold the faulty perspective that “I must go it alone.”
In the late 2000’s a stunning transformation occurred. I stood in front of a group of men teaching BreakThrough. I knew I had two huge beliefs. One that men were scary. Second that they were stupid. Of course these were coping mechanisms to retain the status quo and my own justifications for my experience of men. As I stood in front of these men on course something magical occurred. Compassion rose towards their vulnerability as they cried, raged and emoted. I saw the tiny children they once were. I saw the intense love, protection, and effort they made for their children and family.
In turn I synthesized the masculine and feminine I had been studying archetypically for years in the Tarot. I was the provider and protector of myself, family, clients, as well as the feminine nurturer and disruptor. The feminine’s emotions were anchored and experienced in the container of the masculine. How ironic that the feminine of men were the disruptive force that catalyzed awareness of a woman’s masculine.
Over my years and over 10,000 hours of working with people what is apparent is that we do not have a clear picture of our masculine and feminine. Often masculine traits are defined as feminine and vice versa. The disarray in our understanding subsumes general beliefs of feminine and masculine. From assumptions arise confusions and conflicts that are based solely on faulty portraits of the feminine and masculine.
The feminine and masculine qualities are not negative or positive. Their qualities are unadulterated by bias and require each other for completeness. We each have feminine and masculine. We may sometimes be in the masculine more than the feminine and vice versa. Such understanding awards us the ability to discover the qualities of each.
One example is: The feminine is chaos and the masculine is order. You do not need to accept this but discover it for yourself. To exemplify: A flat-lining heart beat is masculine. Once the feminine chaotic disrupts, the up and down movement of the heart beat is feminine.
Enjoy this incredible journey of discovering your masculine and feminine.