Day 26: My Experiment August 10, 2018 Photo by Pixtomental1
As the meat diet clears my gut brain I become more sensitive, which I thought would be impossible, to every noise, sound, emotion et al. The neediness of others highlights the needs in myself. Years of ignoring my own needs and masking it with what ever addictive behaviour rules me at the time no longer suffices. My coping mechanisms work only for a few moments. This is on the one hand is marvellous on the other like nails on a chalkboard.
The healing of my gut brain has put me “face à face” with taking responsibility for myself. This is in direct conflict with my role as a facilitator. The facilitator and practitioner roles I play are bereft with responsibilities that are not my own but are of the other. This is a deep transmutation occurring within that has given rise to kundalini. My body is wracked with tremors that I try to control and at the same time observe. I observe the resistance as well.
This journal is now a journey to recovery itself. You are the witness to the individual taking charge of one’s own life. This moment is a deepening of understanding the dysfunction of coping, disrespect of the self, and its transmutation to something new. This IS ALCHEMY. Space and Freedom elude me at the moment. As though there is only 1 tiny step to take to enter that space. There is nothing to do. Alchemy is all there is.
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Kiddo, after all these decades of putting others first…your body is telling you to now take care of you. Be it a sabbatical or whatever …you need to continue to heal yourself. Then and only then can you continue be the healer that you are. Sorry, if I’m being selfish here…but we (I) want you around for many many years to come.
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Yes sir!
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So deep Terryann, feeling empathy. Courage, patience for that little tiny step, so huge.
Wonderful,
M
On Fri, Aug 10, 2018 at 10:22 AM, Le Urban Retreat wrote:
> leurbanretreat posted: “Day 25: My Experiment August 10, 2018 Photo > by Pixtomental1 As the meat diet clears my gut brain I become more > sensitive, which I thought would be impossible, to every noise, sound, > emotion et al. The neediness of others highlights the needs in my” >
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Awesome personal work TerryAnne!thank you for the courage to share!
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Hi Peg, Thank you for your appreciation. I am laying myself bare and have no idea what to make of this journey. The response has been surprising to say the least. I started this for myself and it has become something more. Much love Terryann
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